


Look out, Look out, Shang-a-Lang

by bluestockingbaby



Category: Little Shop of Horrors (1986), Little Shop of Horrors - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Ending (Little Shop of Horrors), Character Study, Female Friendship, Gen, Spoilers, cosmic horror, crystal/chiffon if you squint, the audreypocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26551615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestockingbaby/pseuds/bluestockingbaby
Summary: "Similar events in cities across AmericaEvents which bore a striking resemblanceTo the ones you have just seen began occurring."Audrey and Seymour died in Mr. Mushnik's shop, the plants are beginning to take over, and Crystal, Ronette, and Chiffon are the only ones who know what really happened. Meet the narrators-turned-final-girls of this horror show.
Kudos: 7





	Look out, Look out, Shang-a-Lang

“If we found goats, would they eat the plants, or would the plants eat them?” Crystal tossed the question into the evening air, popping one of her now-precious pieces of gum. She was always thinking up ways to dispatch the Audreys as they popped up— once she had even taken out one with a lighter and a blast of hairspray. “The Audreys only survive off of people, right?” 

Ronette looked up from the bus map she was holding—“Yeah, but it could still take out a goat like that.’” snapping her fingers to make a point. She switched her attention back to the map and pushed her curly hair back behind her straggly blue headband. “Going to Ames would be, like, a whole day even with the Metro running. We’ve gotta make them listen though. NASA has to deal with aliens and space shit, it’s their job.” she said fervently. 

After the first Audrey had taken Mr. Mushnik’s shop along with Seymour and Audrey, after the police and the firemen and the state government had been called in and the Audrey Two had been hacked up (with three more casualties before the plant finally went down) much of the damage had been quietly erased, with men in suits and shiny shoes and horn-rimmed glasses deciding that it had been a fire gone wrong and that there was no connection with any prior disappearances that had happened over the past months. People went missing all the time on Skid Row, and no one responded to three high-school dropouts who spoke wildly about blood-drinking plant aliens and begged them to search Skid Row for anything green and slithery. This wasn’t The Twilight Zone, after all. And even when Audreys started crooning their nasty little songs in Cleveland, in Toledo, rampant once again on Skid Row, the government had decided that this was a biological attack from the communists and staked more and more resources on increasing their national security than on more local measures. 

While Chiffon, and more surprisingly Crystal, had stepped up to try to keep their neighborhood safer, telling people who would listen about the Audreys, salting and bleaching and burning wherever the needy little sprouts showed up, Ronette was the one who saw the bigger picture, fearing a terrible overgrowth of Audreys that would bleed and choke out the world. She was the one who had started picking up newspapers, scanning every day for new Audrey stories and she was the one who was going to make everyone listen before the plants inherited the earth, as well as the blood that ran through the meek and the desperate. She was ready to build the damn rocket and fly up to space with gallons of weed-killer herself if she ever got the opportunity. When she said that to Crystal late at night, after half a bottle of shoplifted tequila, Crystal asked _"Does Judy Jetson ever have to deal with this bullshit?”_ and they both almost died laughing.

“We’ll go. Those jerks can hang up on us all they want, but if we go for re-e-eal, they gotta make us a de-e-eal!” Crystal broke into song half-way through the sentence. It seemed like nothing got her down, and she was the most outwardly tough of the three. She claimed that things weren’t that different because The Urchins had always been the ones to look out for each other, and that wasn’t changing. The only time she had really snapped at any of them was one night when they were talking about Audrey, as they often did. _"She was too focused on the wrong things. That’s why she got got.”_ Chiffon hadn’t spoken to her for a whole day, only forgiving her when Crystal apologized by tossing some (non-evil) flowers and a coke at her. 

Chiffon stirred sleepily at Crystal’s side, tired from her earlier watch and still recovering from an Audrey latching onto her leg a few days ago. The Audrey was hiding in a heap of trash and had surprised them all, rearing out before they could sweep the street for strange and unusual plants. Ronette had run up and untangled Chiffon from the Audrey’s tendrils while she and Crystal whacked at it until it squealed in submission and finally died, but there were still livid marks on her brown leg. Chiffon was perhaps the most tender-hearted, and whenever the argument of who to blame for Audrey II came up, she would take Seymour’s side. _“Girl, you could have done the same thing if it got us on Beverly Hills and off of Skid Row.”_ Usually, the argument died quickly after that. Chiffon yawned and responded “Let’s go, it can’t be worse than here. I always wanted to go to Santa Clara.”

**Author's Note:**

> I always thought that The Urchins fighting Audrey II in space would be a great idea for a sequel to Little Shop of Horrors, maybe as a cartoon or comic series. This turned into something different.


End file.
